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pqg
-8th March 2004, 14:58
Sod that running, swimming and cycling nonsense: this triathlon is far more fun: the events are Fencing, Drinking and Chess.

Saturday 24th April in Edinburgh - full details in the attached file

The principle is simple: you get 1 point for every:
* Fencing bout won
* Game of chess won
* Pint of beer drunk
Highest total at the end of the day wins!

The fencing is epee only, but I strongly recommend this competition to you all... you get more fights (usually 15 or 16 fights to 5) than in most other competitions and a meal thrown in all for a nominal entry fee of 3. While it can be quite competitive at the top (but then, what competition isn't), it is very much about taking part, and a great day for all.

This is the 5th time we've run this, and each one has been bigger and better than the last, (I know several of you on here can testify to this, having taken part in the carnage of some previous years) so come along and help make this the best one yet.

We're also inaugurating a team competition this year, (incorporated into the main event) so if you're only strong in 1 or 2 of the 3 disciplines, you can still be a valuable team player.

Hope to see lots of you there!

Gav
-8th March 2004, 15:14
Yes, I would recommend that anyone looking to have some fun on a weekend do this. I've never made it but I know a few people who have and they always have nothing but praise for it.

twohappyhippos
-8th March 2004, 15:38
im guessing you need to be over 18 to go?
but it sounds like soooooooo much fun!!!! :party:

pqg
-8th March 2004, 16:09
Originally posted by twohappyhippos
im guessing you need to be over 18 to go?
but it sounds like soooooooo much fun!!!! :party:

Oops, forgot to mention that:

Yes, unfortunately you do (and it is)

symon
-8th March 2004, 16:15
speaking as an ex-triathlete i must decline on the offer of any alterations to the events of triathletics wold be unacceptable the adrenalin rush is amazing!! .................. almost as good as fencing!!!!!!

pqg
-14th April 2004, 10:45
Just a reminder, 'cos this thread hasn't been very active: the Alternative Triathlon is a week on Saturday (24th).
The closing date is a week today (Wednesday 21st) so get your entries in! (For full details and how to enter, download the file above)

A full day's fencing with food thrown in for only 3 - what are you waiting for?

I've heard several people say "I'd love to but I'm no good at chess" (or drinking, or fencing for that matter). In that case, come and join in for the team event; You can have up to 5 people on a team and the team score is made up of your best 3 fencing scores + best 3 chess scores + best 3 drinking scores, so your weak event(s) needn't count! If you haven't got a full team there will be some being made up on the day, so you can join one of them.

Tihon
-14th April 2004, 16:02
I wanna go, I wanna go... and where exactly is Edinburgh? Dammit! All the cool stuff happens miles and miles away from me. :(

pqg
-25th April 2004, 18:04
Congratulations to all who took part in this year's Alternative Triathlon. To sum it up in one word: Carnage

The winner was Alan Kennedy with a new record score of 39.

Well done also to Gavin, Iain, Mark, Dusty and Zenon who won the team event.

Full results are in the attached file (the drinking scores make for some scary reading)

Australian
-25th April 2004, 21:10
wish i could have been there :(

myopic
-26th April 2004, 15:30
Dammit!!!

What do I have to do to win this thing!!????:drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :beer: :drink:

pqg
-26th April 2004, 15:59
Originally posted by myopic
Dammit!!!

What do I have to do to win this thing!!????:drink: :drink: :drink: :drink: :beer: :drink:

Given that you drank the most ever and still came 4th, your options would appear to be:

1. Get a lot better at both epee and chess,

2. Arrange a hitman to take out me, Alan and Mark, or

3. Don't worry about the individual event, but let's get the best members of both our teams together so we're unbeatable next time round (you, me, Al, Al and Ian would have had 119...)

Take your pick, but as far as I can see, 1. is time consuming and (IYHO) dull, 2. is expensive and criminal while 3. allows us some revenge on Glasgow/RCP/Greek ringers which sounds fun to me.

Alternatively, you could fund a new award for "Best Non-Epeeist" - you'd have won it the last 3 years in a row (and possibly 2000 too, though James was better in 2001)

myopic
-27th April 2004, 12:40
Methods:

1. Getting good at chess wouldn't be that boring.

2. I don't think it would be that hard to work Alan up into a homicidal frenzy after 8 pints or so at next years event, thus neatly removing Mark and you, and getting Alan disqualified (Black carded for brutality).:chair:

3. Sadly not viable after you are dead and Alan in prison, but me Alastair and Ian V could cruise to victory, possibly with more attractive and female team members than your offering.

Ergo I get the team and individual trophies, Ian gets the adoring attention of our lady team mates and Alastair gets first shot at the buffet.

A perfect solution - looking forward to next year already.

Gav
-27th April 2004, 12:48
Originally posted by myopic
Methods:

1. Getting good at chess wouldn't be that boring.

2. I don't think it would be that hard to work Alan up into a homicidal frenzy after 8 pints or so at next years event, thus neatly removing Mark and you, and getting Alan disqualified (Black carded for brutality).:chair:

3. Sadly not viable after you are dead and Alan in prison, but me Alastair and Ian V could cruise to victory, possibly with more attractive and female team members than your offering.

Ergo I get the team and individual trophies, Ian gets the adoring attention of our lady team mates and Alastair gets first shot at the buffet.

A perfect solution - looking forward to next year already.

Dear oh dear...

Is this the level you guys have sunk to...

Junkie
-27th April 2004, 16:10
I'm just relieved that i didnt finish last, next year i plan to do the drinking and chess less half-heartedly (I had an essay to write and had a crash course in teh rules of chess by my flatmate between the fencing and the pub) and bribe dave into giving me a nicer draw for the fencing (3 bouts against Iain Third :( )

Neo
-27th April 2004, 17:52
I'd come if you'd only change one small rule...

add shots to the drinking event. I'm ill after only a few pints (my belly's only little!) but shots I can do all night ;)

kitten
-29th April 2004, 22:10
OoOOo this sounds awesome! When is the next one?

natsgrant
-30th April 2004, 07:42
You are all nutters, but might consider introducing it to the guys at Lokomotiva...

O toga mislis, Tihon? (Ne razumijen ovaj jezik!)

myopic
-30th April 2004, 09:34
The date floats around a bit to fit around other Fencing events, but it's held somewhere between late April and early May.

Gav
-30th April 2004, 10:05
Next time I see pqg I think we will be discussing the format of the fencing. I think it could be put into a better format.

I'm goint to suggest doing 1 hit Epee. Fast competition, everyone fences everyone else and easy to determine team points. Easy to tinker with on the day.

Junkie
-30th April 2004, 17:28
The fencing competition was rather perversly drawn though not utterly irrational. The problem with any poule unique system is the translation of n-1 bouts into a score out of 16

pqg
-1st May 2004, 20:16
I have considered the option of 1-hit epee before and, while it has its merits, I am opposed to adopting any system that will mean dropping the principle of 1 point per fight/game of chess/pint of beer. You open the door to all sorts of alternative points equations and associated arguments and that way madness lies...

Believe me, I have considered numerous options of format and I think the one we used was among the fairest. Remember the slightly unusual criteria I was trying to fulfill:

* Everybody must get 16 fights.
* Fencers of a similar level should have roughly equal difficulty opponents, so that ultimately:
* When listed by number of fights won at the end of the day, fencers will end up ranked in order of how good a performance they had.

These could be fulfilled by just having a series of poules rounds, but it wouldn't make for a great competition because the best fencers would be kept apart all day. So we add:

* At some point the best fencers should have to fence each other
(and similarly the worst fencers should get to fence each other)

Before anyone suggests a 40-er type system let me point out the inherent problem there. Consider the final round scenario:
5th seed loses all fights in top poule - 0 points
6th seed wins all fights in second top poule - 4 points.
Hardly fair...

We were unlucky this year in that the numbers were too great to use poule unique, but small enough that any other system inevitably resulted in some people having to fight 2 or 3 times. There will be less repitition if more of you guys enter next year!

PS and Junkie, if you are who I think you are, you wouldn't have run up against Iain Third 3 times if you hadn't beaten him the first time :)

pqg
-1st May 2004, 20:45
Originally posted by Neo
I'd come if you'd only change one small rule...

add shots to the drinking event. I'm ill after only a few pints (my belly's only little!) but shots I can do all night ;)

I've had this conversation too many times. I know many people would like this rule changed. Let me explain why it won't be:

In 2 words: Fairness & Safety

Even if you say a double=a pint (roughly alcohol equivalent), it is simply easier to drink shots quicker. Fact. You then have an advantage over a beer drinker.

Because of the volume issue, it is also easier to drink a great number fast. Towards the end of a triathlon we often get the scenario where someone is 2 or 3 points behind the lead while the last chess games are in progress. They might need, say, 3 drinking points in 5 minutes to overtake. It is far too possible to simply down the requisite spirits no matter how drunk they already are. (All in one glass - tip it back - be hideously ill)

This could result in retaliatory downings and progress at a rapid pace to the casualty ward. Beer has a built in safety factor in that the volume prevents you taking more than 2 units at a time. Experience has shown that someone already too far gone who attempts a similar feat with pints is generally forced to give up after/during the first one.

PS For those who complain that they're only little - this year's women's champion is absolutely tiny yet drank 11 1/2 pints.

PPS For those that say they don't like beer you have 3 choices:
* Get to like beer - it's great!
* Drink cider - we allow this as a fair alternative
* Don't drink but enter the team competition and concentrate on the fencing and chess

Neo
-31st May 2004, 17:05
oh and make it a quadrathlon... one point for every woman/man... you know :tongue: