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Jambo
-20th April 2003, 20:48
Does anyone else think the rivalryt between weapons is really quite funny? As a recently converted sabreur I have taken great delight in the the arguments in my club between weapons. The stereotypes seem to go like this (everyone please argue!):

Foilist: Usually small and fast or a beginner
Sabre: Fat and violent with a love of corps a corps and bruises
Epee: Tall and lanky, spends a lot of time jabbing at peoples wrists and ignoring the ref.

I know people in my club who have nearly come to blows over which weapon is best, isnt that somewhat daft (cos its saber!!!!:grin: )

Hudson
-21st April 2003, 00:36
It one of the funnyist this going.
As a fencer how fences all 3 weapons i think it's great. Even though i'd say i was an epeeist (others might differ (ESTHER)) i still enjoy doing the other 2 at comps.
Though i think the only way to settle it is in the bar :beer:

Mischa
-21st April 2003, 08:48
FOIL FOIL FOIL!!!!

The other two don't even come close.

Zelda
-21st April 2003, 08:54
My take?
Foilists - always coming up with some dogey scheme to scam something from someone
Epeeists - lounge around and swipe a % of the foilists money
Sabuers - the grunt who does the work.

I once read a brillant article called "lock up your silver there are fencers in town". Wish I could find it again.

I think however its funny seeing people argue over which weapons are best.... its fencing, its all good!

twohappyhippos
-21st April 2003, 09:09
well i'd like to argue that some epeeists arent tall and lanky (for example me!), and some foilists are actually really quite tall (some are even taller than epeeists!), and yeah sabreurs are just sabreurs - violent.
yup gary....id have to agree!!! lol joke.
so guys any gossip from the birmingham that i missed out on cause i had to go early, because i fenced pants so i had to go at like 4:30. xxx

Jambo
-21st April 2003, 09:38
I dont like the fact the everyone is like "stereotypes arent true, but ughh sabreurs!!" Why do we have such a reputation? ...on second thoughts dont answer that!

My coach keeps asking me why I'm not an epeeist, to skinny to be a sabruer apparently!

Aoife
-21st April 2003, 19:19
lol, Zelda, is this what you're refering to?

You can pick them out of the crowd. They travel in little groups that have "Attitude" written all over them. They sneer. They like to jostle strangers and push elderly women into the bus lane. They hold spitting contests on crowded sidewalks. They smell bad, and know it. They're fencers. And they're here for the weekend.

Like many athletic groups, fencers travel to competitions on the weekends. Unlike many athletic groups they are required to register with the local constabulary on arrival. In the east, and in many European countries, city police departments cancel all leaves and days off when there's a fencing tournament in town. Hospitals double up their emergency room staffs. Many downtown businesses hire private security. Some just board up their windows and stay closed for the weekend.

Fencers in their home cities are always uneasy customers. In many eastern cities there are specific zoning laws restricting size, activities, types of entertainment allowed on premises, and locations, of fencing clubs. Many insurance companies refuse to cover business situated in neighborhoods where these clubs operate. Real estate values invariably drop when a new club comes to the neighborhood.

So the question becomes: why put up with them? If they are this much trouble why not merely ban them altogether?

This question has been proposed many times and in many jurisdictions. The fact of the matter is that fencers spend money. It has been estimated that fencing and fencing-related activity generates millions of dollars yearly. For smaller centers the multiplier effect of the economic activity generated by a large and active fencing club can contribute substantial revenues to the municipal coffers. Other estimates suggest that fencers at large tournaments will spend $500-$1000 each over the course of the weekends; on food, lodging, entertainment, transportation and retail purchases. The sum of money spent by fencers on CD's and tape cassettes alone is staggering.

There are those who say that if we outlaw fencing only outlaws will fence. There are also those who feel that this would only formalize an already existing situation.

There are three types of fencer: epeeists, sabreurs, and foilists. Fencers tend to prefer the company of their own kind, sometimes going so far as to restrict club membership to proponents of a specific weapon or style. Moreover, each group has its own distinctive style of dress and behavior which sets them apart from the others.

Sabreurs - or "sabreurs" fence sabre - a single-edged weapon characterized by sudden charges and wide, slashing attacks. Sabreurs prefer tight black leather clothing. Studded collars and wristbands are also quite common, as well as dog-collars, leather hoods, multiply- pierced body parts and grotesque or obscene tattoos. While many wear highly-polished pointed-toed boots with silver toe caps and spurs, most prefer heavier stompin' boots of the Doc Marten variety.

Sabre fencers tend to be more heavily built than the other two. In sharp contrast to the casual brutality of the epeeists, or the studied, exquisite cruelties practiced by foil fencers, sabreurs are most often prone to random behavior. Screaming is a common manifestation of this, and the source of much amusement for groups of sabreurs out on the town. (Particularly when touring libraries, museums, retail outlets, and hospital wards.) Occasionally a sabre fencer will leap without warning into heavy traffic. His compatriots will generally take advantage of the ensuing confusion to loot the nearest music store.

Epeeists are tall. Very tall. A group of very tall men and women lounging on a street corner are either basketball players or epeeists. The difference is that basketball players will help a little old lady across the street, while epeeists are more likely to take her purse and throw her over. There is no real epee "costume", except that they tend to wear track suits and shave their heads. Their women are the most beautiful of all the fencing women, but also the most likely to knife random passers-by and take their wallets.

All epeeists wear very expensive running shoes which they have invariably stolen. It is a mark of shame in the epee subculture to wear legally-purchased footwear. Naturally this is difficult to ascertain merely by looking, and of course asking about it can lead to other complications.

Foilists tend towards bright colors and flashy outfits. White sports jackets with pink shirts, gold chains and floppy white hats are common foilist attire. Foilists are usually smaller and slighter than their colleagues in the other weapons. This has bred in them a furious temperament and a tendency to pick fights with anybody at any time for any reason. It is said of foilists that if the chips on their shoulders were any bigger they could fly to tournaments on the next stiff breeze. Certainly it is true that after a night on the town any given 5' 6" foilist considers himself a match for any two members of the local police department. Additionally, foilists have a thing for knives - not surprising, given the nature of their sport. Most foil fencers carry at least one secreted about their persons, which they are prone to pull on people who upset them. Bar staff take note: junior and cadet-age foilists invariably become upset at persons asking them to provide proof of age at licensed drinking establishments.

Unlike epeeists and sabreurs, few foilists will stoop to common looting or shoplifting to support their lifestyle. Extortion, protection rackets, and credit card fraud are their thing. And while a sabre fencer might bodily throw a blind person in front of a bus, the more subtle foilist will merely suggest to one that it is now safe to cross. It is this delicacy of disposition, combined with a propensity towards sudden, directed violence, which makes the average group of foilists walking down the street as cunning and as dangerous as a bag full of mutant wolverines. Certainly it is this last group which is most to be avoided when traveling the streets of our fair city during a tournament weekend.

lindsay watkiss
-21st April 2003, 19:27
there is an old Hungarian saying:

Is you walk up behind a fencer with a balloon and pop it!!!!!
If its a foilist he will lung instantly
If its an epeeist he will just stand there
If its a sabrer he will turn round and kick the **** out of you.

:o

Psymon
-21st April 2003, 19:27
Speaking as a sabre fencer i pay keen interest in all the p*ss taking that is leveled at us my two particular favorites are

what is the difference between God and a sabreur

God doesn't think he is a sabreur

and

Foilests talk about their weapons
eppeists talk about their tactics
sabreurs talk about themselves

long live the sabre there is nothing as satisfiying as a tempo hit(when you are acctualy given it)

Aoife
-21st April 2003, 19:52
How many sabre fencers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, sabre fencers aren't afraid of the dark!

Psymon
-21st April 2003, 19:55
Thats funny i always thought the answer was

8

2 To charge at each other screaming
5 To argue about whos point it was
1 to run off and find someone intelligent enough to change a light bulb

Hudson
-21st April 2003, 20:55
Now that sounds like a sabreur :grin:
though i've never heard epeeists talk tactics. it's more often got any alka seltza, or admiring the female foilists (male foilists for you Esther :grin: )

Mischa
-21st April 2003, 21:37
like me :tongue:

Gav
-22nd April 2003, 08:01
Thanks to Glasgow West End for this little nugget of joy!



How to become the perfect Modern Fencer



People often ask me how I have achieved such magnificent heights in the world of fencing, how I managed to win gold at the Olympics at the tender age of eighteen and how I can combine such strength and athleticism with effortless grace. Often the women accompany these questions with admiring glances at my magnificent physique, and reach out with trembling hands to touch my sculptured muscles. This, of course, is usually the point where I wake up and realize I have dribbled saliva all over my pillow case, and that I have developed a strain in my biceps from sleep-flexing.

I am, like most of the fencing community in Scotland, not a top-class athlete. I am just another workaday fencer, working off my aggression on the Piste after a hard day trying not to strangle my co-workers for being buffoons (that is MY job, and no one will take it away from me).

However, this doesnít mean that I am content with my fencing lot. Like everyone else out there, I want maximum benefit with minimum effort. With this in mind, I have decided to enlighten one and all with the correct way to improve your performance in competitions.

Contrary to popular belief, the purpose of a club night is not to improve your fencing. The way I see it, actual fencing training is a waste of time; after all, no matter how hard you work, there is always likely to be someone better than you. This is where most fencers fall down. They believe that fencing is an individual sport, and that success on the piste depends upon oneís own skill and determination. Not so.

Success in fencing depends largely on how much leverage you have with the president. Therefore, the most important rule of fencing is: SUKE UP TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

You may well think that so-and-so has terrible BO and a personality that makes Charles Manson seem like a reasonable, well-adjusted kind of guy. This is irrelevant. You have to convince this guy that he is the most charming, handsome, intelligent and sweet-smelling man in the world. When the chips are down, and itís 14Ė14 in the final, if your man is presiding, the chances are youíll get the hit; even if itís so obviously biased in your favour that Blind Man Pugh could tell he was wrong.

First you have to learn the skills to make friends. Laugh at everyoneís jokes, no matter how unfunny. Learn every fencerís conceits and lay on the kind of flattery that would make Narcissus blush. Hug everyone, even if they have a boil the size of an Easter egg on their face. If dealing with a member of the opposite sex, donít be afraid to use your charms. This obviously works better for women, as men are more susceptible to this kind of thing. Donít be afraid to wear low cut tops, and constantly drop things in front of other fencers, allowing you to bend over and expose your cleavage with a coy flutter of the lashes. ĎAccidentallyí run into your fellow fencers while fighting and rub your groin on his leg (as long as you donít leave any stains, this will work quite well). And of course, for men and women, donít be afraid to sleep with everyone and anyone available. If you have given your President the most memorable orgasm of his/ her life, the fightís in the bag.

In short, sleaze, suke, sidle and slip your way into the good books of everyone you can.

Of course, it isnít possible to make friends with everyone; some people are just weird enough to not be susceptible to the tricks we have mentioned above. A common mistake beginners make in this case is to try and be genuine. NEVER DO THIS! If you are attracted to fencing, there is every chance that you are suffering from a severe personality disorder, and Ďbeing yourselfí will simply send the person you are trying to befriend running for his or her shotgun.

Fortunately, there are ways around these people. The first is simple: bribery. The wonderful thing about Presidents is that they are human, and like all humans they are susceptible to the lure of Mammon. In the first instance, try money. If this doesnít work remember that fencers are, on the whole, deviants. Most will be susceptible to vouchers for the local S&M emporium, or the promise of a rarely seen Czech porno involving two lesbians, a double dildo and a randy baboon. For those who have no sex drive, shiny things will often do the trick, although do ensure that any stolen jewellery given out in bribes cannot be traced back to the scene of the crime.

By this point, you should have 99% of the fencing community in your back pocket. Unfortunately, this is not enough. The remaining 1% that you could not corrupt could well be the thorn that pricks your ever rising helium balloon of fencing success. So, how do you deal with these paragons of virtue that you couldnít flatter, shag or bribe? Itís simple.

Remember that by this point you have befriended/ bribed/ slept with almost everyone who has ever picked up a sword. Use this to your advantage. At competitions, if you find one of Mother Theresaís little incorruptibles is in charge of your fight, round up all of your friends and set them to work. Have them surround the uncooperative swine in a tight circle. Any time he/ she gives a decision against you, get your friends to jostle, heckle and abuse the President. This intimidation factor is usually enough to seal the fight.

Some of these people will have watched too many Arnie movies, and think they can stand up to the abuse in the name of integrity and honesty. Donít worry about this either. Use your vast network of friends to find out about their family. Donít be afraid to kidnap one of their children. For every point the president awards against you, send him/her a finger. Youíll be amazed how many fights you win 15-0.

So, thatís it. You now have all of the skills and knowledge to smarm yourself to the top in fencing If you are dedicated enough to follow all of this advice, you should achieve the status of World Champion within around ten years of starting fencing. Good luck, and remember, my preferred form of bribe is cash.

Disclaimer: Please note that any physical violence, sexual diseases or jail sentences incurred in the course of following this path are the sole responsibility of the fencer taking said actions. The author will deny all knowledge of this article when called to court as a witness and, furthermore, will pay one his many contacts to pop a cap in the ass of anyone who grassed him up; so just watch it, right!

Gav
-22nd April 2003, 08:02
PS the above doesn't apply to me!

kingkenny
-22nd April 2003, 08:22
What about Kendo?:grin:

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 08:55
Gary, how did you hear about that?! and dont say youve got your sources, cause i want names! NOW!!! thanx, i know i dont always fence well, and i probably look really bad when trying to fence! but thanx for pointing it out for me! ;)

Jambo
-22nd April 2003, 09:15
Sorry, can't resist but....Amersham?! Where on gods green earth is that?

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 09:27
No offense but how can you not not know where Amersham is?! i mean i live there!! lol...well its in Bucks (southern area of the UK), and its mostly made up of countryside, although we are only 25miles away from london, which is about 50mins on the train! now do you know? oh yeah and amersham is the last stop on the metropolitan line (the bluey,red,purply one) does that help? xxx

Zelda
-22nd April 2003, 10:47
The metro line is actually working????? Actually lets rephrase that, the TUBE is actually working????

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 11:01
the metro line normally always works........well ok i lie a bit again, but the tube going hammersmith to see Busted was working yesterday but theyve still got loooooooooadsa probs that need to be sorted out!!! cause im sick of taking replacement buses and being stuck along the piccadilly line for like an hour on a hot day!

jamesthornton
-22nd April 2003, 11:07
ive neva heard of amersham. but im a silly northener so it isnt suprising

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 11:21
yup that sounds about right!!! ok have any of you seen 4 weddings and a funeral......well the hotel/pub they use after the wedding where they go back to the hotel and shes hiding from the really pervy bloke and they go upstairs and yeah...well thats in old amersham do you know what i mean?!!! so amersham is famous!:moon:

Mischa
-22nd April 2003, 11:28
I glad people know where I live. :tongue:

Jambo
-22nd April 2003, 11:32
Ah, now I understand. Incidentally why has everyone been upgraded? Not that Im complaining of course!

Mischa
-22nd April 2003, 11:50
30 posts = member
40 posts = advanced member

I think

edit: so how come James is a super member? BTW I think we should have more exciting titles. How about

0-10 = Sabreur
10-30 = Epeeist
40 - 100 = Foilst
> 100 = Esther :tongue:

kingkenny
-22nd April 2003, 11:52
I upgraded the people who used the forum alot :grin:

Ps might need moderators soon.
If your intrested e-mail the forum.

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 11:57
what was that about me? 40-100 a foilist? but im not a foilist :( sorry!! im still a bit confused!

Mischa
-22nd April 2003, 12:00
It was in order of superiority: sabreurs, then epeeists, then foilists, but with you at the top.

Jambo
-22nd April 2003, 12:02
Less of the sabre bashing please. Some of us are very controlled, modest unassuming people:grin:

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 12:04
of course thats the way it should always be!! but im still a bit confused tho......why are sabreurs more superior than epeeists?! lol xxx

Jambo
-22nd April 2003, 12:06
Some of us lie a lot too:)

Mischa
-22nd April 2003, 12:06
Originally posted by Jambo
Less of the sabre bashing please. Some of us are very controlled, modest unassuming people:grin:

...can't contain...laughter....

jamesthornton
-22nd April 2003, 12:09
sabruers arnt superior to eppeists.

Mischa
-22nd April 2003, 12:11
That's what I meant, lol

twohappyhippos
-22nd April 2003, 12:33
oh.................ok, next time make it VERY obvious!!! lol......did anyone see Busted live at Hammersmith yesterday? matt was ill :( but they were still amazing!

Hudson
-22nd April 2003, 15:37
sabruers are superior sleepers. Not having to check in till noon most comps's/ More time to sleep off the night before.

Muso440
-22nd April 2003, 18:58
I've only been fencing about a month, so can someone please explain to me why exactly tall people are supposed to be epeeists? I'm only on foil so far, but I'm quite tall, so am wondering whether I should be thinking about changing one day, and what exactly the advantage is?

Or is it just blind prejudice going on here?

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 08:47
Blind prejudice, sarcasm and a grain of truth! Epeeists do seem to be taller than average, it doesnt mean you have to change weapon tho!! Do whichever you like the most, but dont change after about 5 years of being rubbish at foil, like I did. Some inciteful(sp?) person gave me a sabre and....:)

I notice you tactfully avoided the other stereotypes.

Gold
-23rd April 2003, 12:12
Sabreurs are superior to no one we are in a class of our own. epeeists are superior to no one.
foilists are superior to the referee;)

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 12:24
In a way tall foilists are more dangerous than tall epeeists cos they can reach short people while short people cant reach them. I epee the target is only a blade length away (hence equal), in foil its blade and arm.

Sasori
-23rd April 2003, 17:15
Height is an alledged boon in epee fencing, as it means you can hit someone from further away, i.e. stophit into short peoples attacks. This works less well in the other weapons due to the priority rule...but doesn't rule it out.

twohappyhippos
-23rd April 2003, 17:25
and i would just like to point out that all epeeists arent tall!!! maybe most of the blokes....but female epeeists are....ok some of them are tall.....ok quite alot! but dont worry even short people (like me!) can become epeeists!
but if youre a good epeeist you can pick people off like round the wrist, so infact you dont have to be tall to get points :tongue:

Mischa
-23rd April 2003, 17:32
It can be an advantage to be short in foil - small target. Short with really long arms would be good :)

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 17:47
Hmm, quite an image.:)

twohappyhippos
-23rd April 2003, 18:16
yeah it would, wouldnt it?!

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 18:17
NExt time I see a fencer with their knuckles dragging on the floor I'm gonna run away fast:grin:

Aoife
-23rd April 2003, 18:50
NExt time I see a fencer with their knuckles dragging on the floor I'm gonna run away fast

Excellent plan! Train orangatans to fence!!!! :monkey:

Mischa
-23rd April 2003, 19:14
Why bother when we have epeeists? :tongue:

Hudson
-23rd April 2003, 19:24
i've seen a few sabrures that fit that discription :)

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 19:50
Originally posted by Hudson
i've seen a few sabrures that fit that discription :)

I just KNEW that one was coming.

Hudson
-23rd April 2003, 19:51
It was so obvious i didn't want to say it but decided if i didn't someone else would.

twohappyhippos
-23rd April 2003, 20:05
hehehe well.........

Jambo
-23rd April 2003, 20:06
<starts searching for blonde jokes> :grin:

Mischa
-23rd April 2003, 20:07
Why did the blonde take sandpaper to the desert?



She thought it was a map!

Aoife
-24th April 2003, 18:22
What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you?

Run, she has a grenade in her mouth.

Hudson
-24th April 2003, 20:26
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, ''Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.''

Hudson
-24th April 2003, 20:50
Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.
She picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."

The other blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh, of course you have. That's me!"


How mant blonde jokes do i know or can i get???
LOTS:grin:

haggis
-24th April 2003, 21:21
Brilliant idea! Don't know why I've wasted my time with humans upto now. All I need is a small group of urangutans and Salle Banana is born. Give athletic ones foils, give the intelligent ones epees and hand the rest of them sabres.:grin:

Keep your eyes on the rankings and on the hairy looking guy at the other end of the piste.:eek: :grin:

Homer
-25th April 2003, 06:27
Going back to the original statement if Sabreurs are fat how come that Sabre is the fastest weapon, surely being fat should slow them down.
P.S this is from an independant, beginners point of view

kingkenny
-25th April 2003, 07:36
No such thing as a faster weopan the blade moves at the same speed. The footwork for sabre is alot better making them move faster on the piste. (this is because they cannot cross their legs in combat, no flesh)

Mischa
-25th April 2003, 15:56
Yeh, because they used to throw themselves at one another, rendering the outcome effectively random.

So they changed the rules.

And it's still poor :grin:

Jambo
-25th April 2003, 15:58
And rendering people unconscious from time to time?!:dizzy:

Gold
-25th April 2003, 18:24
Sabre is not poor womens epee thats poor i pose this question how can we liven womens epee up;)

twohappyhippos
-25th April 2003, 18:42
i'll admit that SOMETIMES womens epee can be boring, but sometimes it can look good?!

Gold
-25th April 2003, 18:44
yeah if there are some really tight breeches in action;)

Hudson
-25th April 2003, 19:05
Always looks good when your involved Esther :grin:

Aoife
-25th April 2003, 19:26
this is because they cannot cross their legs in combat, no flesh

They use flung now don't they? Is it as effective? I was trying to explain the prinicple of a flung (starts like a fleche, ends like a lunge) to my coach, but being new to fencing (and not a sabreur) I don't know if I was explaining it quite right.

Hudson
-25th April 2003, 19:28
easy way to explain it. Looks like the fencer get his (sorry ladies) fet tangled up and semi falls/ throws himself forward.

Aoife
-25th April 2003, 19:39
yeah if there are some really tight breeches in action


That could sure liven up male fencing too! :tongue:

randomsabreur
-26th April 2003, 18:08
Two comments

Sabreurs' size usually due to later check ins so more beer can be consumed the night before.

As for tight breeches, depends why they are tight. If the fencer has grown this is not necessarily a good thing!

Breeches that open when you lunge (Leon Paul - Why velcro instead of buttons above the zip) are difficult. Has anyone managed to parry successfully while attempting to hold up breeches after a recovery!:transport

haggis
-26th April 2003, 21:32
Totally agree about tight breeches. When i occasionally struggle into my breeches these days I look like a white whale. It's unpleasant for me:( and must be deeply distressing for innocent bystanders:eek: To give you idea of how bad it's got, I'm nearly fat enough to look like a sabreur:tongue:

Muso440
-27th April 2003, 09:50
Originally posted by haggis
Totally agree about tight breeches. When i occasionally struggle into my breeches these days I look like a white whale. It's unpleasant for me:( and must be deeply distressing for innocent bystanders:eek: To give you idea of how bad it's got, I'm nearly fat enough to look like a sabreur:tongue:


You mean fencing doesn't keep you lean and mean? Damn!

Jambo
-27th April 2003, 10:56
Mean maybe, lean no.

Zelda
-27th April 2003, 11:03
White whale? Yup thats gonna be me at the DH Mac. Either the icky new meds the doc has put me on, or lack of training will have me holding my breath for th whole comp!
And whoever was complaining about the Picadilly line... I am SO with you.... used to live near Russell Square Tube while it was being renovated.......BLERGH!

Boo Boo
-27th April 2003, 11:51
Haggis needs a reality check, although I haven't seen him in breeches, can't believe the "white whale" theory...

Thought only women worried about how they looked in breeches.

Have witnessed a few pairs of breeches being split during competition before (foruntaely not my own) - that's always funny :)

Boo

Aoife
-27th April 2003, 19:19
My first breeches are in the post. Fingers crossed that they fit (I don't think I'll look like a white wale though, my thighs aren't great, but they're not that bad).

I don't think they'll arrive before fencing tomorrow though. (First fencing lesson since Monday 7th!!!!!!!)

Mischa
-27th April 2003, 19:35
Wow! You haven't fenced since the 7th??!!!

haggis
-28th April 2003, 07:38
Vanity is a terrible thing but not as terrible as the state of my bod right now. Fencing can help to stay lean but coaching seems to encourage the development of extra padding:o

Boo Boo
-28th April 2003, 08:54
Question is also what does more refereeing do to your body (if you want to do more of that)???

Fencing is bad for your body, am on my second pair of troussers today - the first pair showed too much "asymetry" for my liking...
:(

Boo

haggis
-28th April 2003, 09:03
Judging by the some of the examples that I know, refereeing does the kind of damage that only a lifetime of serious substance abuse can hope to match:grin:

Assymetry? One trouser leg a bit tight? Know the feeling!!

Boo Boo
-28th April 2003, 09:11
Yup, one leg definitely bigger than the other - so its either fencing or they are now making Easter Eggs which distribute those extra calories on one leg...? - looks a bit wierd :(

Boo

Hudson
-28th April 2003, 09:39
Got to be the chocolate. I have the same problem, makes getting breeches that fit a right pain, spent close on £110 on my last pair of breeches, just to get a good strong pair that fitted well. Split my last pair down the thigh.

Boo Boo
-28th April 2003, 09:42
Darn these chocolate manufacturers... :(, maybe I can find another type of Easter Egg that will bulk up my other leg - then at least my legs will be a bit more even :)

Boo
(wondering if Hudson is, in fact, the Incredible Hulk...)

Aoife
-28th April 2003, 12:29
I don't have that much asymetry yet (but I've only been fencing six months). I have noticed my front calf and thigh are sliggtly more developed than my back, but it's not really obvious unless you're looking for it.

I'm still paranoid about my bum becoming lopsided :moon:

Hudson
-28th April 2003, 12:51
NOt quite the hulk just the same pair of breeches that i started fencing in 4 years ago and they were tight then but thanks for the thought.
quote:
I have noticed my front calf and thigh are sliggtly more developed than my back, but it's not really obvious unless you're looking for it.

I only noticed it when my jeans were skin tight on my front leg and nice and baggy on my back. Just have to start fencing left handed for a while to even them out or look for some of the chocolate Boo's looking for

Boo Boo
-28th April 2003, 12:53
Oh, I really nottice it when I buy troussers... :(

Depending on the cut, they normally fit one leg perfectly and NOT the other one. And you can't but the next size up because there will be room for two of you at the waist...

Fencing has been the cause for many moments of anguish in the fitting rooms: some bits of you grow, other bits get reduced in size... :0

Boo

rory
-28th April 2003, 13:02
"Fencing. It makes your body squint". Not the best advert for our sport!
Honestly though - so far I've got an overdeveloped right thigh, left calf and right pectoral & bicep (to an extent), a sore lumbar region because my quads are stronger than my inner thighs, two dodgy knees and a bad ankle.
I can only wait with bated breath to discover my next injury!:blaaaa:

Hudson
-28th April 2003, 13:14
My best fencing injury was in an epee match. The guy i was fighting slid his blade along the piste then up as i was going forward and i took the point right under my right kneecap quite hard. now that hurt and still dose almost a year later.

Mischa
-28th April 2003, 16:23
My right thigh is bigger than my left one, but then I am right handed, so what did you expect??!

Oh, wait, shit, my left calf is much stronger...!!

Aoife
-28th April 2003, 19:24
Fencing. It makes your body squint

lmao!!! Genius! Pure genius!!!

Muso440
-28th April 2003, 19:48
Ohmygod all these scary stories about going lop-sided!!! Maybe I should just give up now before I mutate. Not sure I can though without going bonkers :confused: 'Fencing. It does weirdly addictive things to your brain'?

Even though I haven't gone lop-sided yet, I have at least got my first mightily impressive bruise. All thanks to an epeeist fencing me (a beginner foilist) and forgetting which bits she's allowed to hit. Super!

Hudson
-28th April 2003, 19:54
sabre gives the best bruises. had one that went and covered most of my right bicep with a nice white line up the middle, roughly about the width of a sabre blade. Funny that.

Aoife
-28th April 2003, 20:19
Lol, at this moment I'm nursing my poor bruised knee. (coach fleched, I parried the blade downwards, it hit me hard on the kneecap). I also have a lovely one coming up which is a red line across my front thigh, corresponding with a round bruise on the inside of my back thigh, where I was flicked straight across the legs (coach again).

Boy, I missed those wonderful marks in the two weeks I haven't been able to fence... now once more my body is turning into a patchwork of blues and purples :)


(Muso, I thought the same thing when first I heard about lopsidedness... closly followed by the onviction that it wouldn't happen to me.... whoops :) )

aao
-1st May 2003, 15:28
Homer said:

Going back to the original statement if Sabreurs are fat how come that Sabre is the fastest weapon, surely being fat should slow them down.
P.S this is from an independant, beginners point of view

so does that expain your current level of training then??! as an 'independant beginner' of course................

Well all i can say about sabre is lets just take a look at your current national champion shall we?????? Being slightly less than trim hasn't stopped him winning!

Mantis
-8th May 2003, 11:52
Originally posted by Zelda
I once read a brillant article called "lock up your silver there are fencers in town". Wish I could find it again.

Someone has already posted this article, but you can find it, as well as a number of others, at www.fencingsucks.com. My favourate is Dave Barry's description of Olympic fencing:

Here's how it went: The referee would give the traditional command of "En garde!" (literally, "Start your engines!") and the two fencers would rush together, and instantaneously, before your brain could register anything, various lights would go off, and the referee would make some incomprehensible hand signal, and both fencers would whirl toward the ref, yank off their masks and scream a noise that sounded like "AUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!" (literally, "Wipe the mayonnaise off your eyeballs!!!"). At the same time, in the audience, clots of French persons would scream and hurl garlic. Then one of the fencers, apparently selected at random, would be awarded a point, and the entire process would be repeated.

Bye,

Joe

Aoife
-8th May 2003, 12:21
lol, yeah I liked that one too :grin:

Fencingsucks, for all it's bad points, does have some good humour on :)

Homer
-9th May 2003, 15:52
An Foilist 1 is standing in front of a room heading a discussion on the definition of 'a tragedy': so he poses the question what is a tragedy?
Epeeist1: if i was to crash my car and the passanger was killed?
Foilist1: no that would just be defined as an accident, anyone else?

Foilist2: if a coach full of foilists on the way to a competition crashed and fell off a cliff?
Foilist1: no that would just be a great loss, anyone else?

Sabreur1: what if on the way home the coach full of foilists blew up crashing into your car, and the epeeist's car killing everyone?
Foilist1: yes that would be tragedy what made you think of that?

Sabreur: well it certainly won't be an accident and it sure as hell won't be a great loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moose
-10th May 2003, 18:46
ROFL I like that one Homer :)

As for lop sided bodies, I can definately say that I'm starting to notice a certain imbalance in my muscle distribution. I'm your stereotypical sabruer, big, aggressive and somewhat insane, however my footwork is atrocious, tho I've seen a look of abject terror in the faces of one or two opponents when I did my patented "Jumpy Lungy Thing", its not quite a ballestra and its not quite a Flunge.

Aoife
-11th May 2003, 13:14
my patented "Jumpy Lungy Thing", its not quite a ballestra and its not quite a Flunge.

Cool! Especially the name... it should be taught in salles across the world! :)


(I'm trying to imagine a move not quite a ballestra and not quite a flunge... it's fun :) )

Mischa
-11th May 2003, 14:08
I wonder if my body is even more lopsided because I would have been fencing during the inital growth of my muscles (ie the boy's body becomes more angular and muscly during puberty).

reposte
-11th May 2003, 14:28
This thread sounds a lot like the Mel Gibson Rene Rousso (Or whatever you English speakers spell it) dialogue from "die hard".
A fitting name for an Epee fencer, by the way

Moose
-11th May 2003, 15:51
(I'm trying to imagine a move not quite a ballestra and not quite a flunge... it's fun )

Imagine a really big jump, with the sabre aimed at the unfortunate victim's head. works best agaist inexperienced fencers as they tend to go all "deer in the headlights" when they see my great, sabre weilding, bulk flying at them across the piste.

I managed to squeeze one of these in at the county championships today, it worked nicely, tho my footwork let me down (again) in the long run.